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Opinion
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The War of Words
By Aaron Worley
There was a time when all the words stood proudly together. They did not judge each other by their meanings, tenses, vowel sounds, or connotation. Words were words, and that was enough for them. As in all social groups though, many types of meaning were expressed. Some words were vulgar, some insightful, some pious, and some descriptive, but they all meant something--which is the true and only requirement of all words.
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Official Lies
"Reasons
For War"
* Aaron is tired of being "Damn Nice."
* Mattman gets all the glory.
* Aaron goes for two to win only on the road.
* Mattman goes for two to win every time.
* Aaron started the magazine to get his work "out there."
* Mattman started the magazine because he was tired of writing separate critique letters to all of the celebrities and artists.
* Mattman "accidentally" taped over the final episodes of Duckman with lame episodes of 90210 and the X-Files in the name of research.
* Aaron caused Mattman to OD on heroin by providing an ultra-pure strain of the drug instead of Mattman's usual "Rio Grande Mud."
* Aaron claims Mattman will not teach him computer page layout, while Mattman claims Aaron is unwilling to learn.
* That whole nature vs. nurture thing.
* Money and oil.
* Someone is bucking for a promotion.
* Aaron wants to spend more on advertising. Steve wants to spend more on defense. Lisa is in favor of a free condom exchange for all staff. Chris wants more for drugs. Willy wants to get his phone hooked up again. Mattman says none of that is necessary and wants more for the entertainment divison. Everyone else just wants to get paid for once.
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Uncle Steve renders
war for us
It usually starts with a rumor. There will be wars and rumors of wars. The Nam dragged on so long I thought it was gonna get me. All of a sudden college didn't look like such a bad alternative. Damned thing ended barely
two years and two monthes short of my High School graduation. Scary. By then I wasn't as brave as a seventeen-year-old is supposed to be. Long before the all volunteer army and well after the indoctrination of the John Wayne generation had been supplanted by the credo of the Man With No Name.
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Wars and Rumors of War
Where would we Americans be without our wars? Probably a lot less wealthy, that's what. While shrouded and enshrined in our collective consciousness as efforts to "make the world safe for Democracy," most of our wars have had the primary effect of improving our economic well-being.
Take the French & Indian War, for example. Ostensibly fought to save the North American continent from the Catholic French and their erstwhile Indian allies, the British really wanted [and got] control of the very lucrative French fur trade. Ironically, except in isolated instances, it was French Americans who primarily carried on this trade into the 1820s and '30s.
Then, there's the "mother of all American wars"--the Revolution. We are told that we fought to rid ourselves of oppressive English control and taxes. Of course, as usual, American Englishmen and women were being taxed at a far lower rate than their English-English counterparts. But, "no taxation without representation" is such a catchy slogan that we still like to use it--even when we DO [or CAN] elect our own representatives.
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