The All Encompassing Title
an Understood Babble column by Chris Jungle
My first semester of post-college has now been completed. Post-college used to be called the Real World, but MTV has taken that term and made it something totally different than it actually meant. I don't really mind, though, because I always thought "the Real World" was an inaccurate term for post-college anyway. This rant isn't about those terms at all, so I should just get to the point. The first thing I learned since graduating was that I could no longer call myself a student. For many, that may not seem to be a big sacrifice, and at first, I didn't think much about it either. Then, I got all of the credit card applications.
While I don't actually fill out the application form, it is not uncommon for me to peruse them, looking for when they will jack up the interest rate after people sign up. As my eyes analyzed the papers, I ran across the box that said "Occupation." In the past, I could always put the word 'Student' and get my card by the end of the week, but now that would no longer do. I had to explain where my money was coming from, and I was lost on what to actually put down. Although I get money from several sources, none of them give out impressive amounts, so I don't feel right in putting them down. Among my choices for occupation since graduating have been kennel assistant, shelter assistant, quick labor guy, writer, lotto scratcher, buyer of liquor for underage individuals, and just for kicks, columnist. I've made money doing all of those things, just like I did when I was a student, but now I couldn't use that all encompassing term.
The credit card companies, however, were the least of my concerns. While I have many of the same habits now as I did half a year ago, the explanation for why I do them has changed. It was not uncommon for people to come to my house and find me watching a baseball or hockey game with the sound down, listening to some music of the moment, and reading the newspaper. If anyone asked why I would do such a thing, I would usually reply "Hey, I'm a college student," and the person would seem satisfied with the answer. Now when the same question arises, my best answer is "Hey, I pay bills here."
Needless to say, I have become a little defensive about any and all of my eccentric behavior, and it's because I have no good reason for doing what I do. Of course, I never did, but since I'm no longer a student, I don't even have a decent excuse.
It's not that I desire to actually be a college student again. I still loath classes, egotistical professors, strange finals schedules, and the memorizing of information that will do little good for anybody. In fact, much of the tasks of being a student are tedious and extraneous, but students are allowed to be as eccentric as they want. Parents assume all strange behaviors are just phases, college girls think obscure antics are just part of some bizarre flirting, and everyone will accept any thoughts on any subject as "creative logic."
After graduation, I was apparently supposed to join society and play by all of its rules. This includes watching "Friends," eat at Applebee's or Bennigan's (either is acceptable), and use light bulbs more than candles. Although I have done all three of those things in my life, I don't enjoy them and do my best to decline any offer to do so. There are probably more things which society wants me to do, but I'm not sure what they are. My post-college pamphlet must have gotten lost in the mail.
I guess the biggest thing about losing my student status is that I have not replaced it with a good solid title yet. The hours that I spent doing the tasks of a student are now filled with more hours at a job that pays me. The jobs I have do not merit a comparable title which can explain all of my behavior outside my duties in the workplace, so as a result, I do not go by any.
The title "student" not only made me comfortable with all of my actions, but it gave everyone else a sense of relief when they discovered the man in the corner waiving his arms frantically was merely a college boy expressing way too much. When I do the same activity now, people suggest certain over-the-counter drugs for my condition. And to think, I have a degree in psychology.
As I begin my second semester of post-college work, I plan to continue my search for an acceptable title which will allow others as well as myself to feel comfortable with all of the facets of my actions. If the quest is ultimately unsuccessful, I will resign myself to taking a one credit yoga class at the university to regain my old status. Heck, I got an 'A' when I took it last time.
return to the LIES #12 page page.
return to the LIES home page.
return to the A&A home page.