No, really...
Hi all of you out there in magazine land!
Diamond Dave here. I just wanted to say thanks to the kids here at Lies for asking me to help them run this mag for a bit while the Mattman recovers from his voodoo death experience. I'm not saying the boy can't walk right, but when I tell him I need a drink, he brings Kool-Aid. Now that's not correct! But you're probably wondering about all that business with a certain band I used to be a part of. Well, it goes like this: I got fucked! That's the story. I was probably a little bit too enthusiastic about joining the old band again, but I really thought we could do some of the old black magic again. We gelled well in the studio, and I thought everything was cool. I was wrong. I apologize for my part in a scheme I knew nothing about. I thought it was about giving the fans what they wanted, but apparently it was about duping them into buying a bunch of songs they already had.
But this thing at Lies is great. I reminds me of the time we got hired to do the US festival for a million dollars. I was in South America at the time, traveling in areas less traveled, trying to get away from the stress of regular celebrity life. Nothing like sweating in the same shirt for days on end to purify your mind and body. Come to think of it, this Lies thing is nothing like that at all.
I got a call from Mattman (yeah, he can talk fine, but there are parts of his body that just shouldn't be looked at for a while) about doing a little guest shot in the magazine. I met the boy back when he toured California (and elsewhere, I hear) with Billy's Gun. I was actually thinking about taking them out with us on the Little Ain't Enough tour, but they were history by then. Nice kid, lots of potential--not really the best singer in the world, but he was trying, y'know. So I asked him what I had to do and he said, "Write a letter, help review records, pick out art, that kind of thing." Do I get paid? I asked. "No, but you can have some free copies."
To be honest, it was Lisa's call to say that she would hang around while I was in town that really got me to say yes. Pretty little punk rock girlie-girl. Although, she wasn't always punk rock--not that pain and short hair is bad. A little bit of everything is just enough for me.
So enjoy the magazine! The alien thing and wanted posters were my idea. Just in case you thought all that guest editors did was smoke the office pot and ramble on about past lives, I am here to tell you that they let me handle the remote control every once in while, too.
David Lee Roth
Guest Editor Of Lies
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