Three Takes on this whole Separatist Thing
Boys Will Be Boys
"What's the matter, Bob? You aren't playing so well tonight. Ain't gettin' enough at home?"
"Fuck you, Ralph. It's the damn taxes. I just can't figure out how to do the shit."
"Taxes? What the hell does the government do for us anyway? All I see 'em spending money on is faggot paintings and gun control. You con't owe nothin' in taxes‹they owe you!"
"Ain't that simple, Floyd. You can't just not pay taxes. They got spies everywhere looking in on what you do. You don't pay taxes and they'll put you in jail quicker 'en you could say 'government oppression.'"
"Well then, Bob, you oughta check out the plans we're makin'. I got some land up in Wyoming just a waiting for the right moment to settle. It's about twenty miles from the nearest town. We could build us a little country of our own. Call it No Man's Land or somethin' like that."
"What does that have to do with my taxes?"
"That's the thing. We all take our savings and just live off the land and not take nothin' from the government ever again. In our own little country they're ain't no taxes.
"Yeah, and we could raise horses. Always wanted to raise horses, Bob."
"But what about TV and movies and grocery stores and pizza delivery?"
"That's what they use to keep us in line, man. That consumer society just breaks conformists and tax payers, makes 'em get down on their knees and suck dick. We'd be beyond that."
"So we just live life like they did a hundred years ago? Like the Amish or somethin'?"
"No man. We'll have guns 'en radio 'en shit. We'll live like men should. It's like the ultimate camp-out."
"Okay, but what about our wives?"
"Bring 'em along. They said they'd stick with us for better or worse."
"But what about this year's taxes?"
"Fuck 'em. By the time they realize we didn't pay, we'll be livin' in Wyoming on Easy Ranch."
"And then we can play poker every night after looking after the horses."
"That's right Ralph. First the horses and then the world...
The Weekly Bridge Game
"My husband's cheatin' on me again."
"Who with?"
"That cheap little ditz down at the QT Mart."
"Did you see 'em?"
"Naw, but he's been fartin' like he's been eating too many frozen burritos‹that's how I always know."
"Men are such fucks. We should get rid of 'em."
"Yeah, but I do like havin' 'em around every once ina while‹if you know what I mean."
"What we need to do is get rid of these marriage chains and just get us a few stud puppies for those times we can't do for ourselves."
"Yeah, we could get us a little society together‹women in charge and just have the men as our servants."
"Y'know, my Floyd's got a little land in Wyoming. Probably don't even remember where it is‹but I do. I've been thinking 'bout this for a while."
"You mean?"
"Yeah, get like a dozen or so of us, with our dumb ass husband's money, and build us a nice little new country in Wyoming. And we can get some young studs to follow us along. Promise a little pussy and they'll be followin' us like dogs."
"Won't they want to leave, I mean, eventually?"
"Naw, they'll be gettin laid so much they ain't gonna care. Besides, we can always sedate 'em if they grow restless. This land's outside the nearest town by twenty miles or so. No one'll even know we're there...
Out Near the Bike Tracks
"Man, life would be great if we could just drink and get stoned all day‹y'know, like they do in college."
"Yeah, but I don't wanna go to school anymore, man. College is like another six or seven years of fuckin' school."
"What we need is a little country of our own where we can just play video games all day, stay perpetually stoned and drink. That would be so fuckin' cool."
"Yeah, in our country, we make the rules. We could have girls cook for us 'en shit. And then they could fuck us and bring us joints 'en shit. Make our own rules, man."
"Fuckin'-A right, man. Like my dad's always saying, "Someday, I'm gonna move to Wyoming, raise me up some dental floss..."
"Shit man, that's Montana. Montana, is where it's at. No fuckin' speed limits."
"Damn, you got some speed? Why didn't you fuckin' say so, I've been mellow way too long. I gotta howl!"
"Los lobos, man. That's what we are, man. Fuckin' wolves on the prowl."
"In our own country, this would be like the national pastime and job. Gettin' fuckin' stoned."
"Gettin' fuckin' wasted, man."
"Just gettin' out there to Montana...