Puberty
Undercover Reporting by Aaron Worley
What if you could do it all over again? What if you could be confused, aroused, embarrassed, stupid, angry, and horny all at the same time. Well, there's a new drug circulating the underground scene called Puberty. Although it hasn't been put on the Controlled Substance List yet, the hot new synthetic drug is growing in popularity with some strange reactions.
Users of the drug say it gives them the roller coaster ride they have been missing since middle school, and the drug's biggest fans aren't the normal every day lower class. Test polling has shown that there is a wide range of buyers ranging from parents in mid-life crisis to depressed business men in their twenties who sold out all of their joy to make more money. They are willing now spend the big money to taste a little bit of that youthful glow again.
Puberty has many street names. "Peter Pan," "FOY (Fountain of Youth)," and "Pube" are among the most common, but others exist. "Prom Night," "Bully," and even "Cornholio" are considered references for Puberty.
Those who process the drug, known on the streets as cookers, have described the chemical make up of Puberty as simply "piss and vinegar." Surprisingly, that definition is not far from the truth. Many of the precursors for the drug are found in everyday urine. Included with ephedrine, caffeine, and a touch of morphine, the salty blend is cooked at extremely hot temperatures resulting in a yellowish white powder which can be sniffed, smoked, ingested, or injected. Sniffing and smoking the substance are considered to be the most prominent methods.
Although prices vary, prices for a gram range from $30-$50 with ounces costing $400-$500. Pounds of Puberty have a going rate of about $10,000. Since the users are known to have money, dealers have had little trouble unloading product at these rates. In fact, some users have been caught "dressing down" to make themselves look poorer than they really are because dealers are known to bump prices up if the purchaser wears ties or wing tips. One junkie said he bought the clothes off a teenage kid with the same build right on the street just to get a better price for Puberty.
While predicting the actual effects of the drug is sketching, preliminary tests have shown that users will feel much as they did during their teenage years. This means every reaction will be personal and unique. For instance, one user, in his youth, drank a case of Keystone Light because the pretty girl who sat in front of him in history class never talked to him. For the longest time, he could not figure out why he did such a thing. After snorting a gram and a half of Puberty, the whole incident became logical to him and was found to be a form of self therapy. In fact while on the drug, he repeated the drinking ritual even though he had not seen the girl in several years. Needless to say, the drug has been known to cause users to repeat many of the angst-filled behavior of their past.
Men make up a majority of the users, but women still make up around forty percent of the Puberty market. This is a high rate compared to other synthetic drugs. Along with the youthful feeling, the drug can have the affect of being desired by others. Although this has both good and bad attributes, many women are taking the risk just so they can feel wanted again.
As with every drug, Puberty has a few side effects. Long term use has been shown to cause paranoia about fitting in, feelings of isolation, obsessing about people who users barely know, and a chronic desire to live by themselves. Physically, the drug has been known to cause dizziness, rapid and irregular heart beats, insomnia, and in a few cases, death. This, however, hasn't stopped its popularity.
Police are baffled at how to combat the drug because it hooks people they are not used to investigating. Officer Steve Quinten of the New York Police-Drug Division comments "It's really frustrating because it's not the usual low lifes we're used to seeing. It's successful people who are usually considered upstanding citizens. I find it tragic that people who have job security and live in good homes are ruining their lives just to get a little feeling of youth."
Puberty use has been found to be running rampant in insurance firms and car dealerships. One insurance salesmen complained "I just caused one of my co-workers to be fired. He was constantly coming into work all 'pubed up' telling me to 'suck my ass.' It was really unprofessional."
This unproffessionalism is what causes many to go over the edge. One man who was a manager at WalMart lost his job, house, and family due to Puberty. He claims to have spent all of his money on hits and auto parts so he could soup up his car. He stated that when he was on Puberty the only thing he could concentrate on was his car, and no matter how fast he got it to go, it wasn't fast enough. His wife left him and took the children after he installed nitrous tanks onto their family Mustang.
The group that doesn't seem interested in the drug at all are the people who have these feelings naturally--teenagers. While marijuana, LSD and speed continue to be hot commodities among the youth, Puberty use is practically nonexistence. One high school dealer described his attempt to sell Puberty to his clients as a major bust. "I couldn't move the stuff. The few people who tried it complained that they felt the same except all of their problems seemed to be magnified. Real downer trips. I ended up selling most of my stash to a couple football coaches, but I'll never sell Puberty again. It's an old folks drug."
Not only are the users old folks, but the distributors as well. Motorcycle gangs are prominent in the trade, but old hippies are climbing out of the woodwork again to make a profit. Old dealers of speed and LSD are switching their shipments to Puberty, and law enforcement is scrambling to catch up. "It's like the drug came here overnight. It really was that quick," says Ron Tartle, a narcotics trade analyst.
No matter how quick the drug came, it appears to be here to stay for a while. Users and junkies say the drug takes them back to simpler times when a whole in evening could be spent with a friend calling each other "Moron." One user, who claims she goes through an ounce a week, says "When on FOY, I can become infatuated with a guy again. I missed that from when I was a kid. When you hit thirty, you realize everyone is full of shit. It's nice to be able to daydream again."
This daydream doesn't seem to be ending anytime soon.
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